Lindy West! Here is a totally intrusive question that I, an internet stranger, am not entitled to have answered, but that still desperately haunts the recesses of my mind. Do we (the queers) get to claim you as canonically queer? If no, do we still get to uphold you as a queer icon in the vein of Betty White and Laura Dern and/or create a votive candle of you to house amongst our myriad houseplants and cats? You are amazing and this is amazing. Thank you for existing.
I have no questions except to wonder why on EARTH you three had to sit on those supremely uncomfortable-looking tall-ass unpadded stools for FOUR HOURS?? Could they not afford a loveseat? Even some second-hand bean bag chairs?
hi lindy longtime reader first time commenter - just seems wild to me that three people who are all so hot and smart and cool found each other - did you have to do a deal with satan at the train tracks to make this magic happen or
First time commenter, huge fan, and your private life is none of my business. My question is: after so many years of facing this sort of contemptuous shitstorm, how do you nurture yourself when something like this happens? How do you care for your body and your heart? I hope you find time to remind yourself that you owe no one an explanation, not your readers, not your partners- that the work you do in the world is good, and you are deservedly successful because of your talents, and you’re a woman who takes up space, and that’s the only reason they treat you like this.
It’s a reason, but it’s not an excuse. It is wrong of them to do this, and it’s not fair, and you should not be having to deal with any of it. You’re way too fucking busy (and, as Dorothy Parker put it, vice versa).
I’m boring and I don’t have a question, I just wanted to thank you for sharing and say that I’m glad you’re happy! I love Butt News (well I love everything you write) and am happy to see it in my inbox on whatever kind of schedule suits you. Also Barry content is always appreciated! (I know, that’s IG, but whatever.)
Hi, I'm curious about how you fell in love with Roya - what I mean is, what if you had met her and just didn't hit it off at all? Falling in love (for me) is so rare, what are the odds of you and your husband both falling for the same person? Had you been in love with women before? Had you and Aham discussed what might happen in that case? Keep the marriage open and just not enter a three-way relationship, or would it have increased pressure on things? Wow I wrote a lot of questions - but the interview was extremely thought provoking. And I hope that I don't come across as judgemental - I think you're really brave for being so open about this and am just genuinely curious.
No questions, but you are so goddamn funny and smart, your writing literally NEVER fails to make me lol, and more importantly, think about things in new ways. As a very white, hetero gen-x woman in a very traditional/monogamous marriage, when I first watched the video I was thinking hmmm, seems weird. I followed your IG stories and posts for a few days while all the madness was happening and you had such grace and humor, such love and passion, it was amazing. I’ve always believed consenting adults can do whatever makes them happy, and your willingness, along with your partners, to talk about your relationship was so generous and really brave, I’m just in awe. You all made me think more deeply about my notions of monogamy, the fact that it’s the default, and how it’s all tied up with sexism, misogyny, patriarchy, racism, capitalism, and how we are conditioned to recoil from anything outside the “norm.” And who does that serve?? Anyway, thank you all for sharing your lives with the rabid masses. xoxo
Lindy! My all time hero. I know there doesn’t have to be “rules”, but is Roya also able to have other partners? Especially considering she lives elsewhere (would you all ever consider living together?). Additionally, are you able to have a partner outside of Aham/Roya? Or is this a committed throuple vibe? What do I know! You’re amazing. I hope you are happy as a clam! ✨💖
As a poly person who is usually pretty quiet about it simply because people like the turkeys in your YouTube comments are EVERYWHERE, I just wanna say thanks for doing that interview! So refreshing to see, and I know I am far from the only one who was super happy to see such a positive, open, thoughtful discussion on the poly life. I hope everyone weirdly obsessed with dissecting "body language" in those comments steps on a Lego soon lol.
No question, just major appreciation and respect for all three of you. Coming out is hard enough when the entire internet doesn't already feel entitled to opine on every aspect of your life. Also-- congratulations! It's exciting and wonderful to live your most authentic life and let that happiness and contentment ooze into everything you do and are. ♡
Like many other people, I don’t have a question, just endless, endless praise. You are so fucking cool and funny and brilliant and beautiful????????? And your partners are so very lucky that they get to love you.
Hi! Are women more thoughtful in relationships? Is it so awesome to be with a woman? I always suspected YES but I’m straight. Is it a relief to be with someone socialized to think of others’ feelings? No shade to your husband lol.
AMA: Nonmonogamy Edition!
Lindy West! Here is a totally intrusive question that I, an internet stranger, am not entitled to have answered, but that still desperately haunts the recesses of my mind. Do we (the queers) get to claim you as canonically queer? If no, do we still get to uphold you as a queer icon in the vein of Betty White and Laura Dern and/or create a votive candle of you to house amongst our myriad houseplants and cats? You are amazing and this is amazing. Thank you for existing.
I have no questions except to wonder why on EARTH you three had to sit on those supremely uncomfortable-looking tall-ass unpadded stools for FOUR HOURS?? Could they not afford a loveseat? Even some second-hand bean bag chairs?
hi lindy longtime reader first time commenter - just seems wild to me that three people who are all so hot and smart and cool found each other - did you have to do a deal with satan at the train tracks to make this magic happen or
First time commenter, huge fan, and your private life is none of my business. My question is: after so many years of facing this sort of contemptuous shitstorm, how do you nurture yourself when something like this happens? How do you care for your body and your heart? I hope you find time to remind yourself that you owe no one an explanation, not your readers, not your partners- that the work you do in the world is good, and you are deservedly successful because of your talents, and you’re a woman who takes up space, and that’s the only reason they treat you like this.
It’s a reason, but it’s not an excuse. It is wrong of them to do this, and it’s not fair, and you should not be having to deal with any of it. You’re way too fucking busy (and, as Dorothy Parker put it, vice versa).
More power to your pen.
I’m boring and I don’t have a question, I just wanted to thank you for sharing and say that I’m glad you’re happy! I love Butt News (well I love everything you write) and am happy to see it in my inbox on whatever kind of schedule suits you. Also Barry content is always appreciated! (I know, that’s IG, but whatever.)
I have no questions but I just wanted to say you are the best of the best, Lindy West. Fuck the haters.
Hi, I'm curious about how you fell in love with Roya - what I mean is, what if you had met her and just didn't hit it off at all? Falling in love (for me) is so rare, what are the odds of you and your husband both falling for the same person? Had you been in love with women before? Had you and Aham discussed what might happen in that case? Keep the marriage open and just not enter a three-way relationship, or would it have increased pressure on things? Wow I wrote a lot of questions - but the interview was extremely thought provoking. And I hope that I don't come across as judgemental - I think you're really brave for being so open about this and am just genuinely curious.
Pre-Roya and early Aham, how did you get comfortable with an open relationship? What was that process like?
Thank you for enduring 4 hours!!!!! of sitting on a wooden stool (the worst) to be vulnerable with us <3
No questions, but you are so goddamn funny and smart, your writing literally NEVER fails to make me lol, and more importantly, think about things in new ways. As a very white, hetero gen-x woman in a very traditional/monogamous marriage, when I first watched the video I was thinking hmmm, seems weird. I followed your IG stories and posts for a few days while all the madness was happening and you had such grace and humor, such love and passion, it was amazing. I’ve always believed consenting adults can do whatever makes them happy, and your willingness, along with your partners, to talk about your relationship was so generous and really brave, I’m just in awe. You all made me think more deeply about my notions of monogamy, the fact that it’s the default, and how it’s all tied up with sexism, misogyny, patriarchy, racism, capitalism, and how we are conditioned to recoil from anything outside the “norm.” And who does that serve?? Anyway, thank you all for sharing your lives with the rabid masses. xoxo
Lindy! My all time hero. I know there doesn’t have to be “rules”, but is Roya also able to have other partners? Especially considering she lives elsewhere (would you all ever consider living together?). Additionally, are you able to have a partner outside of Aham/Roya? Or is this a committed throuple vibe? What do I know! You’re amazing. I hope you are happy as a clam! ✨💖
As a poly person who is usually pretty quiet about it simply because people like the turkeys in your YouTube comments are EVERYWHERE, I just wanna say thanks for doing that interview! So refreshing to see, and I know I am far from the only one who was super happy to see such a positive, open, thoughtful discussion on the poly life. I hope everyone weirdly obsessed with dissecting "body language" in those comments steps on a Lego soon lol.
No question, just major appreciation and respect for all three of you. Coming out is hard enough when the entire internet doesn't already feel entitled to opine on every aspect of your life. Also-- congratulations! It's exciting and wonderful to live your most authentic life and let that happiness and contentment ooze into everything you do and are. ♡
Like many other people, I don’t have a question, just endless, endless praise. You are so fucking cool and funny and brilliant and beautiful????????? And your partners are so very lucky that they get to love you.
Your tattoo is glorious.
Hi! Are women more thoughtful in relationships? Is it so awesome to be with a woman? I always suspected YES but I’m straight. Is it a relief to be with someone socialized to think of others’ feelings? No shade to your husband lol.