26 Comments

“...much like how the real Michael Vartan failed to fully engage the libidos of the 90s people except for me!” AND ME, LINDY!!! Was literally telling my friend 2 days ago how he is totally my type and then we discussed how they should reboot Alias but really only because I want to watch Sidney and Vaughn make out. (Also she just texted me that she agrees, very handsome.)

Expand full comment

Alias is the greatest show of all time

Expand full comment

I loved this movie, and this review is the one that got me to level up my subscription! I haven’t rewatched it in a while, so thanks for the trip down memory lane! I will say that I am STILL ANNOYED all these years later that when Josie quotes Shakespeare at the prom and says, “look how the floor of heaven…” and the both look at the floor. As an English major, Josie should know that the floor of heaven is UP and the quote is talking about stars. I have absolutely no idea why this still sticks with me. Anyway, thanks for the Friday laugh!

Expand full comment

lololololololol

Expand full comment

Geez! We’re definitely getting more of this ridiculousness if film studios follow through with AI threats. I like Drew B so much, but she had some questionable roles in the 90s. Then again, a lot of people had questionable roles in the 90s. Enjoying Butt News! Would love to hear your thoughts on Murial’s Wedding.

Expand full comment

Muriel’s Wedding! I haven’t thought about that in so long! My BFF and I watched that so many times in high school. Toni Collette’s career has skyrocketed since then. Man, I feel like I’m 1,000 years old, LOLSOB.

Expand full comment

I want to draw more attention to the part where Josie says "penguins mate for life" or whatever because later at prom Michael Vartan literally rolls up to her and says like "I feel like a penguin in this tux", and when I was a child I thought it was a ROMANTIC CALL-BACK but now I just realize it's a real, real weird way to say you wanna do the March of the Penguins with your teenage student!!!

I did like Molly Shannon, though.

Expand full comment

Molly Shannon 4 life!

Expand full comment

OMG I had never clocked that before!!

Expand full comment

omg the fall after this movie came out I (an undiagnosed autistic person who had been homeschooled their entire life until 11th grade) was a senior in high school and was weirdly nominated for homecoming court. The entire time I thought it was a big joke BECAUSE of this movie and I was going to get bullied. That didn't happen, but WOW. thanks hollywood for making me terrified of big high school dances!!!!

I loved all of your asides about making money as writers in a ha ha this is funny and so relatable and we are all so fucked kind of way :)

Expand full comment

that sounds terrifying! i always think people are making fun of me when nice things happen to me. <3

Expand full comment

Michael Vartan is hot as hell and I'll die on that hill.

Expand full comment

agree

Expand full comment

I have a friend who told me that when this movie came out, she was fully in love with Guy and I was just like...why??? Even as a kid, I could not understand why he was in this movie. He makes no sense.

Expand full comment

I always thought there was something I just wasn't getting!

Expand full comment

“I will be waiting there with my mouth open” took me OUT, lolololol

Expand full comment

Nobody has been risky business. Also I’m personally offended that you compared the character of Guy to Thom Yorke; Thom Yorke is a TOTAL BABE.

Expand full comment

OF COURSE THOM YORKE IS A BABE! But you wouldn't cast him as a HUNKY JOCK in a rom-com for teens!!!!!!!!

Expand full comment

That’s fair BUT I would never cast a hunky jock for anything ever which is maybe why I’d be terrible at casting?

Expand full comment

Ok but did anyone see the MORTIFYING reunion interview on Drew’s show where Vartan basically admits he was about to get a boner during their kiss????

“He said he was wearing loose slacks and thought, ‘This is going to be a disaster when they cut. I must preemptively end this.'” So he yelled cut!! And claimed he tweaked his back and needed to stop!!!

Expand full comment

WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT

Expand full comment

Be careful if you engage with that interview it’s very embarrassing and painful!!!!!

Expand full comment

I swear these reviews are therapy.

Expand full comment

Always felt bad for those turtles 🐢

Expand full comment

Instagram won’t let me message you so I’m gonna put this here in case you see it! If you are still in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia please check out my friend’s bakery. Boliver Bread. It’s amazing!

Expand full comment

I'm not! But next time!!! <3

Expand full comment