18 Comments
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Geniene's avatar

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make I'm a vampire but for mac and cheese t shirts!

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Ingo Pixel's avatar

For Lindy and everyone else: if you want some HELLA complicated child vampire romance/violence/social commentary, read Octavia E. Butler’s Fledgling. It will fuck you up for real and is 100% better than this movie.

That said, I’m just so happy for the middle school weirdos of the world that this shit exists. What would I have done in the 90s without Sandman and Ann Rice???

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Alison's avatar

When I was in grades 7 - 9, I watched this movie a million times! My friends and I were so in love with it that we dressed up as the characters and acted out scenes that we taped on a camcorder. I hope those tapes to not continue to exist somewhere. That would be embarrassing...

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Hannah's avatar

Please, did anyone else’s subtitles for this movie have the dog barks WRITTEN OUT as “arf arf arf” because 10/10 to that writer

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Beth Gusenius's avatar

As always, this is hilarious and perfect. Ethical vampires use all the parts of the waitress! 😂

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Kerri's avatar

Chef’s kiss to this perfection! (Your writing. Not the movie.)

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jessamyn's avatar

I just tried to re-watch this (first time since the 90s!) a few weeks ago and had the same gratitude about it being rated for "Vampire Violence". I couldn't get through the movie itself but it did flash me back very fondly to some 1990s bisexual boys I kissed or wanted to kiss. I'm going to try to stick it out again just so I can watch this Very Important Butt News!!!

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Court's avatar

I cackled multiple times! Can’t help with vampire lore though, never read Ann Rice and all I know of vampires is Twilight and that one movie Winona Ryder was in. Hit me up for elven lore if you ever need it though, I got you covered.

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Court's avatar

Also thank you for making me laugh.

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Kato potato's avatar

I've never seen this so I legit thought Lestat was another character who popped up until I saw the picture of TC aka Lestat hahahahahahahaha..... and now i never, ever have to see it, hooray! Butt News for the win once again! :-D

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Mimian Morales's avatar

Hahaha everything I never knew I needed. Signed, a vampire nerd.

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Erin W's avatar

I love! Also what about a 300 butt news??!!

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Lauren's avatar

This was a delightful read.

Also, I haven’t seen this since I was a child, but I do remember being confused that Tom Cruise’s personality didn’t seem to interfere with his sexual tension with BP. It was spot on to describe his behavior as negging!

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Leslea's avatar

Rats!

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ECD ME's avatar

You are amazing and this made my Valentines Day - thank you!

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AprilCG's avatar

First of all, I giggled my way through this post. I remember I loved Interview when it came out -- on the rewatch, it's pretty ridiculous. Also, I was forced to watch John Wick (the first one) yet again with my teenager last night, and all I could think the whole time was, "Please, please, please, let Lindy do this one for Butt News." Don't get me wrong, there are some badass scenes and lines but this watch-through...it's just a such a dude movie, full of dudes doing dude things. With like, one, very one-dimensional female character who gets killed for being basically like the rest of the dudes in the movie who get to live. 'Would love to hear your take on it.

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Bonnie F's avatar

You had me at "Right off the bat..."

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