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Plot twist: Jareth's codpiece (also a lawyer) does NOT get turned into an owl and becomes the new ruler of the Goblin City. The end.

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This is excellent closure for me! Thank you!!!!!

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Btw I dunno whether you’ve ever looked up some of the fan theories about this movie, but one is that Sarah (either this specific Sarah or another Sarah) has tried to solve the labyrinth many times before. In the beginning when Sarah tells Hoggle her name and he says, “That’s what I thought,” it’s an indication that he knew her already/was expecting her. Also explains the part later in the labyrinth where she says she could “never figure it out before” in regards to some puzzle.

At the beginning of the movie, when she’s in her room, there’s (I think) a newspaper clipping on her vanity or something that appears to have a picture of a pretty dark-haired woman with David Bowie (Jareth) and there is some conjecture that that was Sarah’s mother, and that maybe she died or was lost to him somehow, and Jareth has created the labyrinth to entrap Sarah as a replacement for his lost love.

Anyway the best part is still David Bowie in those leggings.

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I did not look up any fan theories in advance because my favorite thing to do is flail around being like "THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE" because that's an easy way to be funny and I am lazy. BUT now that you say this it reminds me that I HAVE heard this fan theory before and I love it! It tracks!

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I too would relish an opportunity to manipulate David Bowie into spanking me in a pile of garbage.

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It is so bizarre that I was not deeply into this movie as a kid. I had all the markers: carried around an Edgar Allan Poe book the entirety of 8th grade, into musical theater, glasses. The good news is my 3rd grade son is now doing a school report on David Bowie so I can at least set things right with this next generation.

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Lindy I am so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but as the former owner of a male budgie, I and my curtains can attest that birds can and do jizz. ☹️

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nooooooOOOoOOoOooooOOooooOOOOOooOooOoooooooOooOooo

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I went to a very tiny Catholic school in Pennsylvania. My mother also worked there so I would hang out after school. My 4th grade teacher (still to this day my favorite teacher) would watch movies after school while she graded and Labyrinth was one of her favorites. I have lots of great memories of watching that movie with her. Also, I think I used to dream about it. I think it’s also responsible for my middle school obsession with MC Escher.

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I can't believe you name-checked both The Pyramid Collection AND Cherith Cutestory in this magnificent piece. WE KNOW THE SAME THINGS!!!

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Somehow I made it through my Xlennial childhood without ever seeing Labyrinth, but based on your description I can only imagine that it would have scared the ever-loving shit out of me as a kid. I remember being terrified of the child catcher scene in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the part of Darby O'Gill and the Little People where a crack opens up in the earth and Darby falls into the leprechaun land, and those seem downright tame in comparison. As a sidebar, I just googled Darby O'Gill and the Little People and Sean Connery's character is described as the "dashing younger man" and the "strapping lad" who took Darby's job. Lolz! Anyway, thank you as always for a hilarious write-up. I read the whole thing, even though I've never seen the movie, and loved it. Now I must go watch it! And one teeny tiny thing - I'm like 99% certain that Michael Bluth's alter ego was Chareth Cutestory and not Jareth Cutestory. Speaking of which, I now have "You're a CROOK, Captain HOOK" stuck in my head!

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Yes, it is Chareth in AD but I was doing a COOL MASH-UP! <3 And also yes, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Darby O'Gill were scary as hell.

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That makes sense ;) I apologize for the Arrested Development-splaining.

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NO APOLOGY REQUIRED! I appreciate the attention to detail!

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I might be thinking about this wrong but based on her question to the llamas the truthful llama would answer yes (since the other llama would lie and say yes) and the lying llama would say no (since they would lie and say the truthful llama would say the opposite of what they would say).

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seems right!

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Realized I messed up since I didn’t describe both door situations!

If it is the correct castle door Sarah asked about, the truthful llama would say no (since the other llama would lie and say no) and the lying llama would also say no (since they would lie that the truthful llama would say yes).

If it was the sudden death door Sarah is referring to, then the truthful llama would say yes (since the other llama would lie and say yes) and the lying llama would say yes (since they would lie about the truthful llama saying no).

So since the llama responded yes, it means that door would be the sudden death door! Which doesn’t that mean Sarah’s logic was right?

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