22 Comments

My husband found the Stargate TV show on Hulu a few months ago and it is now, sadly, a big part of my life. It is both terrible and excellent, in very much the way the movie is. MacGyver takes the place of Strudel and brings a very weird incompetence to it. The guy who replaces James Spader must have spent a lot of time practicing to be a serviceable James Spader impersonator. There's a new guy, a former alien slave dude, and he's amazing and his makeup is *mwah.* There are far better ways to spend your time than watching this show (9 damn seasons), but there are worse ways too.

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To tie it altogether, Stargate SG1 is essentially Sliders but with different planets each episode instead of parallel universes.

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GREAT

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Thank you for reminding me of one of the best 90s movies AND ESPECIALLY for reminding me of Jaye Davidson!!! Looking like a StarDATE! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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Had to stop two paragraphs in and Google “how to can opener?” My mind is blown and my fingers are grateful.

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I just had to do this as well and had NO IDEA.

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POV you haven't seen the movie in decades and googled "bani wei" after the fourth paragraph or so only to find no meaningful results, and in fact this very page was the fifth result ‼️ (spoiler alert: I eventually figured it out bc as a former homeschooled child I pride myself in Reading Comprehension™)

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I wish "They don’t know what a chicken is, fuckface!" was positioned to become a catchphrase so that I could have it printed on t-shirts and mugs and welcome mats.

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Who/what is bani wei?! I haven't watched this movie, so am I missing a crucial reference? Google won't tell me anything!

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It's from the movie! I get to it eventually! It's just a made-up word from the language that the slave people speak in the movie. Sorry for confusion! <3

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Thank you for explaining! 🤣 Google was like, do you mean Wei Bani? NO!

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Same problem - "you probably meant these people named Wei Bani". Also think about the next time Wei Bani self-googles, and results two and three are "Butt News" and "Butt News Is Out! Hot/Fresh!"

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Hahahaha!!! "I’m sorry. You’ve had this things since 1929 and nobody noticed it was constellations? There are so many 17-year-olds on Instagram who would have noticed that in five seconds." 🤣

I don't think I've seen this movie since it came out... I know what we're watching tomorrow night!

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My husband and I both thoroughly enjoyed your review, and found it to be VERY bani wei! No explanation or apology email required here!

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I mean, Stargate SG-1 is so bad. But also very watchable? They replace Kurt Russel with MacGyver, and replace James Spader with a guy who looks like James Spader. They introduce a new Djimon Hounsou looky-likey alien, and a Smart Lady Airman (tm) who is sassy about being a smart lady airman. So, yes, I want you to watch it, but also, don't, seriously, it is so long, and there are spinoff shows and one of those has young Jason Momoa in a leading role, being an alien and fighting aliens.

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What's brilliant about your Richard Kind reference there at the end is that in one of the Stargate spinoffs, Stargate Atlantis (which I loved dearly), Richard Kind guest stars in what is one of the worst episodes of not only the Stargate franchise but possibly also of the universe at large. It is a comedy episode where he plays a man who has discovered an herb or whatever he can drink that makes everyone love him and do what he says. He has a bunch of beautiful wives and has obviously roofied and raped them all, but the whole thing is played for glorious laughs. The main characters get roofied as well but we don't see whether they're raped or not. Then at the end, for extra laughs, one of the main characters roofies his best friend and makes him clean his quarters! Hilarity!

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This was one of the first movies I saw in a theater and, consequently, has cemented itself as my favorite movie of all time. I bought a replica gold Ra necklace an' all, and told everyone in my school that it was from ancient Egypt (which was believable because I had a great aunt who lived in Kenya and, in Ireland of the 90s, our knowledge of African geography was VERY limited). I always wondered if Ra was ever so slightly modeled after Michael Jackson though, just in the way that he was surrounded by so many kids… which didn't give me the creeps back then as much as it does now, to be fair!

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You’re now responsible for me watching this movie again and basking in the how of James Spader’s feathered hair. Thank you, Lindy.

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DUDE I literally just watched Stargate for the first time since I saw it IN THEATERS like 1 week before this post came out, so it was so fresh in my mind! BANI WEI!!!!!!!

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I'm now watching this with my husband, who says Stargate is the first movie he saw in theaters twice! 😂 SFX really do look good tho!

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So I’ve never seen Stargate but was riveted by this review. ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

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