23 Comments

LINDY YES THAT IS EXACTLY THE CORRECT SPIDER POLICY; I have explained those PRECISE rules so many times and people always look at me like I'm a big spider kook when I'm just a regular kook with perfectly reasonable spider rules!

We have even ceded the territory of our tiny balcony; the spiders own it now and that is fine, we can still look out at the trees from the other side of the screen door.

I have never felt more seen.

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Let me help all of you who don't want Giant House Spiders moving in during the colder months... starting when the nighttime temps drop below 45 degrees (late August, early September), start spraying around your doors, windows and air vents with an essential oil spray like orange or lemon about once a week. Once I started doing that, as well as not leaving the door from the garage into the house open for longer than 30 seconds, the sightings dwindled to nothing. You're welcome.

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Lindy, nooooooo!! Don’t watch this movie!! Granted I only saw part of it through my hands at Nicole Lewis’s sleepover in 1992, but it caused what may have been the only real panic attack of my life. My dad had to come and pick me up at 1:30 in the morning! Fuck spiders!

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We are trying to model compassion and etc for the kids about spiders but if you're a spider in my bathtub or sink, I'm sorry, but it's a frantic drain death for you. You could spell out RADIANT across my body wash tower but IDGAF, DEATH FOR A THOUSAND YEARS.

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The shower scene still haunts me…

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I have the exact same spider policy.

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I lived in a basement apartment in Seattle for a while and had to keep a vacuum cleaner plugged in and ready to go at all times in order to suck the huuuuuge horrifying spiders up with the hose attachment. It is the only way I can deal with them. I will not watch this week's movie with you. Nope nope nope.

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I tried to watch Arachnophobia once and I couldn't even make it past the credits. So I look forward to reading your recap instead.

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Nooooo!!! I saw that movie once on TV nearly 30 years ago and I still think of the popcorn bowl! I'm not usually afraid of spiders, but that movie is the worst!! I guess maybe it would feel like real in 2021 than it did in 1991-ish when I was in elementary school, but good god! You are far braver than I am to even consider watching it!

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I literally don't know anyone as arachnophobic as I am. Even looking at pictures makes my skin crawl. And like you, I LOVE snakes! Idk why, they're just cute. No one understands this, so thank you ❤️

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Oooooh my god, this is the take I NEEDED. I am soooo fucking sick of people trying to spider-splain to me. I UNDERSTAND SPIDERS ARE WORTHY CREATURES AND OFTEN "HARMLESS" IN TERMS OF BITES. I also have a literal phobia that pushes me into frantic, illogical, terrified flight mode when I see even the smallest one in a place where it can access me (aka not through a window/behind glass/etc). It has always felt so ableist to me for people to tell me to "just get over it" or "just get used to them/exposure therapy" when it is a LITERAL PHOBIA?? I can't just control my brain's reaction to things?? We can't just THINK our way out of brain reactions, and it usually requires therapy (which I can't afford), so like WHY is that an acceptable response to so many people???? I literally asked a group once if anyone with arachnophobia had tips on gardening, to avoid the inevitable spiders, and like 75% of the comments were just people spider-splaining why they're so good and useful and to just "exposure therapy" my way out of the fear, vs actual useful advice on ways to avoid the spiders. And yes, I am STILL ANNOYED ABOUT IT. UGH.

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I have a working theory that most people can be broken down into one of two groups: afraid of spiders OR afraid of snakes.

I am down with spiders and am terrified of nope ropes. Please no Snakes on a Plane.

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I got a BugZooka to deal with a spider problem. I understand why people hunt now. 😆

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Your use of the word dang gives me life.

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Ooh Arachnophobia! My parents took me and brother to see it when we were kids thinking it was a comedy and we were all terrified watching it. You are braver than me, I have no desire to ever watch it again! But looking forward to your review!

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Rule number one of Butt News was "please don’t explain things to me [Lindy West]!" GTFO of here, explainers!

(Said with love, unless you're a douche about it)

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