My One-Woman Show in PDX March 6!

Hot News for People Who Love Turrets, Crenellations, Moats, Mottes, Baileys, Old Baileys, Boiling Oil, and My Stupid Ass!

this castle and this dad: both featured in the show

ART THOU BORED??????

As you’re possibly/probably aware, I wrote a one-woman show in 2023 as an attempt to army-crawl ever closer to my truest self through the muck of modern capitalism. It’s called “Every Castle, Ranked,” and it started as a combination of castles and stand-up comedy, my two favorite things. Then, because nothing gold can stay, it morphed into a meditation on disillusionment, low self-esteem, having a show business dad, whether unicorns are really worth the slut-shaming, Nathan Fillion, Tom Lehrer, Baz Luhrmann, summer camp, the nation of Wales, and just generally what is a dog’s purpose¹ in this life??????????

I really put my whole self into this show (co-written with my angel Ahamefule J. Oluo) and with every iteration it’s gotten better and better and now I’m doing the LATEST ITERATION, which is probably the final iteration, at the Patricia Reser Center for the Arts in Beaverton, Oregon on March 6, 2025! (←CLICK HERE! THIS IS A LINK!)

I would be thrilled and honored if you would attend! No pressure, but “Every Castle, Ranked” at the Reser is only THREE DAYS before my BIRTHDAY and nothing would make me happier than to turn 43 absolutely zooted to the gills on a sold-out live show.

CANST THOU HELP????????????

If you’re on the fence about my charisma as a live performer, allow me to direct you to this week’s episode of Pop Culture Debate Club, in which I argue for Saint Macaulay Culkin against the wicked Elijah Wood in the battle of the child stars. I think you will find that I am hilarious and insightful, just the thing for a chilly Thursday night in Portland, Oregon on March 6, 2025!!!

In a way, I am the Macaulay Culkin of humorous PowerPoints about castles!

Many are saying it! Something to think about!

In conclusion, please enjoy some early concept art, a rave review from Megan Seling at The Stranger, and a photograph of Jon Snow wearing a definitely real shirt that is also definitely about my show.

1. I am the dog