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Why are you so pretty?

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Thank you for asking! It's because I have a pure heart.

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Okay but actually I was coming here to say something along those lines lol. I would love to hear more from you about your sense of style! You always look so cute and wear really fun and interesting clothes and jewelry and makeup that make me, a fellow fat lady, go “oh I wonder where she got that”, or “hey I wonder if I, too, could wear something like that!”. I feel like your choices are always unexpected and fun and you wear them really well, and it like, weirdly makes me feel more confident when I see you rocking a cute crop top and lipstick and a septum ring? I just feel like there’s this way fat women are told to think and feel about our bodies, and I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of dressing to hide myself, and you seem to be very deliberate about choosing not to do that and I love it. I’d love to read about not just where you got something you’re wearing, but also like, the thought process behind why you like it and what you’re saying by wearing it.

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Seconding this!

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Jun 12·edited Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Would love to hear more about your adjustment to rural life - what are you experiencing socially, culturally, culinarily, politically, economically, logistically? I moved from Chicago to rural Missouri last summer for my husband's job (SOB) and it's been real, brother! Mostly I really like it but shit I miss Thai food and bodily autonomy. What do you miss and what do you love, in your cocoon in the woods?

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Oh man, abortion stuff in Missouri is so bad right now!!! I'm still in Washington state, so even though I'm in a more conservative county it's still relatively liberal. We're two hours from Seattle and we all have to go back and forth a lot for work, so I honestly feel like I haven't had ENOUGH time in the country yet. But I've always been kind of a homebody and it's sooooooo beautiful out here, so it's hard for me to imagine wanting to go back to the city. Aham can cook anything so I don't even feel particularly deprived culinarily! Maybe I miss donuts. Like, being able to run out and grab whatever I'm craving in that moment.

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

This was my question too! As someone in Seattle and feeling jaded (and broke)… should we all move to cabins in the woods???

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Maybe??????????? I believe in density and community and diversity and public transit and everything that a city provides, but Seattle just became SO expensive that we couldn't do it anymore. I don't know what the answer is, because this life definitely isn't for everyone! My brother-in-law gets antsy after like 24 hours out here.

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Sorry this is just an internet rando replying a few days later but as someone who lived in Seattle for a loooong time — and thought it only counted as living “in Seattle” if you were really in the heart of a neighborhood like Ballard or the Hill…I highly advise taking the “get the fuck out of Seattle” route.

In my case I took the baby step of moving to Portland first (barely different, though the people are So Much Warmer) but mid-pandemic our landlord sold our house and we found out we basically couldn’t afford to rent anything that worked for us as two disabled adults with a giant breed dog (and a cat) and ended up BUYING A HOUSE, truly did not think it was possible let alone somehow more affordable than renting…in Bremerton. Which I refused to even learn the location of when I lived in Seattle, though I did like MxPx so I knew, like, it existed, which a shocking number of my Seattle friends didn’t when I first moved.

So uncool. So wonderful. Not exactly the country but I look at all the years I clung to Seattle and am so pissed at myself. My life is so much more relaxed and easy. I can go to Seattle when I want and not be annoyed the entire time! Or I am, because I am old and crotchety now, but I can leave!!

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Yes to all of this!! I grew up in Seattle and still love it and would love to raise my kids here but holy hell... My family of four lives in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no other prospects.

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Please Butt News My So Called Life!

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GOOD IDEA

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

We are the exact same age (I also turned 42 in March) and I'd love to hear you talk about your 40-year-old brain and the way it handles anxiety and other elder millennial angst. Like, exactly how many Fs you give now vs. in your 30s vs. in your 20s. No pressure, but I feel like you're a great candidate for defining our generation and such! Very excited for this new book!

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OMG thank you!!!!! This is exactly what the book is about and I will definitely be writing about all of this for Butt News Lifestyle Content! <3 <3 <3

Short version is I love my 40-year-old brain because even though it is fuzzier it is STRONGER.

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I would read special editions of Butt Newses that were basically volumes of The Many (Mis)Adventures of Barry. What did Barry get up to this week?

but also am so hyped for your new book regardless so no worries Gary! congrats for being in the revisions stage!!!!!!

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OMG. Barry finally got cataract surgery on his right eye this week (and electrolysis for ingrown eyelashes on both eyes) and he has to be in a cone for FIVE WEEKS and he is completely miserable. It's soooooooo sad! But I'm so excited about him being able to see again!

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

DOG ELECTROLYSIS!!!!!!

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Things I'd love to read about: mental health/ADHD, weird shit you've seen in the woods, books you enjoy, the tiny adorable things on your bookshelves, Seattle-y stuff, and people/things you think suck (I think 1 or 2 minutes hate is too short!! more hate please!)

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OOOH, yes it would be my honor to create extended hate content!

Right now I hate LIARS.

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Lindy I purchased a copy of Shit Actually on vacation and laughed so hard I farted like two dozen times on a beach and in a tent. That prompted an immediate follow on social media and from there I have gotten into Butt News and Shrill and Text Me Back and I am honestly convinced that you could not produce content that I would dislike. So my question is: how do you have a direct line to my funny bone and my heart?

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THAT IS SO NICE AND I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT AND YOUR FARTS

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

I have no questions but “full of gossip” is the #1 thing that sells me on anything!

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Listen to Lindy and Meagan on Normal Gossip pod if you haven’t already

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Jun 13Liked by Lindy West

Okay after having read your earlier memoirs and loved your getting to your "happily ever after" (ahem, problematic concept, I know!!) with Aham, I had a bit of "season 2 anxiety" on first reading about Roya in your lives because, will this destabilize?? (no it is NOT any of my business, that is correct!) But now upon learning that Roya RIGHTLY AND PROPERLY labels stored leftover containers with date and contents on masking tape, I am inexplicably but deeply reassured! All hail Roya the rightful Freezer Queen of the castle. :)

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Yes!!!!! Roya is a stabilizer in all things!

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As a person who has been doing some form of non-monogamy for over a decade, I always yearn for more polyamory content from people I admire. For me, I feel like on social media on general there's a ton of judgment around it. I'd love to read more about those experiences. I have a feeling that we'll get to read a lot about it in the book, but I would love to know more about your experience of being in the public eye while opening your relationship. I know it's super personal, though.

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Oh man, PEOPLE WERE/ARE SO MEAN ABOUT IT. And it's really not that big a deal? We are so happy and wholesome and cute! We are just three people living in a house instead of two! Of course non-monogamy would still be totally legitimate even if we were NOT wholesome, but we are just gardening and making granola and watching Sopranos! A lot of people are threatened by the idea of non-monogamy because they're afraid that if it becomes normalized then THEY will be forced to do it, which feels like the scariest thing in the whole world. I understand that feeling because I used to have it! But to me, "stepping out of compulsory monogamy" is just another way to say COMMUNICATION. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do! But being able to openly communicate your feelings/needs and structure your relationship in a way that feels good to you IS A VERY GOOD THING. People are hostile about relationships like mine as though they can suppress the information that non-monogamy exists, because supposedly if they suppress the information then their husband will never leave them or whatever. It simply does not work that way, sorry! Please stop yelling at me for being happy!

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Yeah, I'm also curious to hear more about your relationships, even if it's boring. But I hated that people were mean about it, so I understand if you don't want to talk about it too much.

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I don't mind talking about it at all! It is the architecture of my life! Roya is a type-A angel who makes sure Aham and I do basic tasks like deposit checks and respond to e-mails (we did not do these things for the 10 years before Roya), and she is also an artist in her own right who just published a gorgeous chapbook AND she is managing a bunch of other fancy artists and basically never stops tappity-tap-tapping on her laptop cutely and having important meetings where she uses Boss Voice. Barry loves her soooooooo much and she is his favorite cuddler because they are the same size. Aham just set up a basketball hoop in the driveway so now we will never see him again probably. He is working on his next live show (managed by Roya, thank god), which showcases his absolutely ALIEN savant-level talent like nothing he's ever made before and premieres in the fall. We all sort of chaotically cycle around between various beds, depending on who wants to sleep alone and who doesn't, and Roya writes the date and the contents on a piece of masking tape on EVERY tupperware of leftovers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love them both so much and my life would be a boring nightmare without them!

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Grateful for this! I am on my own very similar seeming non monogamy journey with my spouse and have found that even when you’re not famous, people are still surprisingly mean and weird about it! I am desperate for support/stories of other people who are doing this in long-term relationships, so I really hope this is discussed in the book. Thank you for being willing to share stuff about your life- it has been a balm when things have felt rough. Thank you!

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Tell me about entering your tattoo era? What are you getting? Why (if any reason)?

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I cannot STOP getting tattoos. I write about this in the book, actually--I was sure I NEVER wanted to get a tattoo until I got one with Sam Irby on my road trip in 2021, and I realized that I was avoiding tattoos because of some weird old baggage that I didn't want to carry anymore (i.e. my fat body wasn't worthy of decoration and also I thought my mom would be mad at me???), and now it's all I can think about and I wish I was rich so I could do all my ideas RIGHT NOW. In the last month-ish I got a LARGE PEGACORN and a portrait of Chris Farley and a tiny elephant, and next month I'm scheduled to get this public domain image I found that's a fairy riding in a chariot pulled by butterflies and I think I want to get it very large across my tummy, although I might have to postpone it due to the cost of Barry's cataract surgery. I also have SEVERAL CASTLES PLANNED.

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

My parents were actually mad at me when I started getting tattoos! After my second tattoo (which is on my butt) my dad said “No more, Melissa! No more!” I was 30 😂😂😂

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Same! I was in my 20s but still. My mom was like “but what if you go to the beach! And you wear a bikini! People will see your tattoo!” Bless her heart.

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I actually started getting tattoos as like, a way to reclaim my fat body? Like, sure u think it’s gross, but look at this sweet art that’s on it. And my mom was mad at me, but she got over it lol.

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Yessss, more about tattoos! Who are your favorite artists/studios in the greater Seattle area? How do you go about contacting them and working with them on an idea? How do you determine whether they will be chill about fatness? I have three tattoos and I crave more, especially after working with a wonderful fat artist from Portland, but I cannot go to Portland for every tattoo!

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I would LOVE to hear who you like in Portland, please! I have been holding on getting a tattoo for so long and it feels like finding a fat neutral artist is too much emotional energy when, like, I also have to do that for basically every medical professional in my life.

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Yesss!!! I have also been loving your tattoo renaissance and want to know more about it!

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1. What are you particularly delighted about growing in your garden?

2. What do you wear to stay cool in the summer? (I work from home, am fat, have pig DNA, and don't particularly care about fashion trends, but I'm always curious about what people I think are cool are wearing! I'm into caftans right now.)

3. Any fun and exciting summer plans? Do you get to take a lil break now that you finished (your part of) your book, or are you busy with podcasting, Butt Newsing, etc.?

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1. Everything is growing SO much better than the last time we planted a garden, because my MIL helped us put together her special compost mix! I would say I am most excited about strawberries, because last time they all got eaten by birds but this time Aham built a mesh cage around them. Also we planted a bunch of carrots and radishes from seeds and they are growing so good!!! And the peas are climbing the fence and it's so cute. The zucchini is already an out-of-control problem child that I need to figure out how to trellis before it takes over the whole box. But I am excited to have zucchinis!

2. I basically only wear bike shorts and crop tops now! Sometimes I will throw a skirt over the shorts if I need to look presentable, or wear leggings or sweats if all my shorts are in the wash, lol. I also DO love a caftan! Basically I can no longer stand anything even mildly uncomfortable, itchy, hot, or polyester. Natural fibers only in my 40s!

3. Just lots of visitors out here at the cabin! Plus Aham and I are going on a little road trip to Idaho because we are slightly broke but overdue for a one-on-one vacation. The rest of the time is all podcasting, butt-newsing, and finishing the book!

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Love all of this for you! Homegrown strawberries are SO GOOD. And peas are the cutest growers. I loved growing zucchini, but we must not have the secret special compost because we didn't get inundated.

I just bought a few pairs of bike shorts - I used to only wear them under dresses, but am excited to just have them be regular clothes!

Hope you have fun with your visitors and on your road trip! I think little road trips just may be my favorite form of vacation, at least for now.

Thanks, Lindy! You're the best!! 💜

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Can we have the compost recipe?

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Thank you!! I hope we can get it in Canada! Husband will be so excited - he’s obsessed with compost.

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It's just a blend of different things (peat moss, coarse vermiculite, and 3 kinds of compost), so you can definitely get it in Canada because you have to make it yourself! I think there's a general shortage of peat moss and coarse vermiculite right now, but maybe that's not happening in Canada (and we were able to order some online).

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Ohhh! This makes more sense! Husband will be ecstatic, in that case. He loves mixing things into the composter even more than he loves just putting things in it. Literally asked for (and received) a compost-mixer for Christmas.

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Your compost must be working wonders - or your microclimate is warmer than mine - because all of my veggies still look so tiny and sad!

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

4. And also, why ARE you so pretty?? 👸

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

It’s her pure heart.

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Jun 12Liked by Lindy West

Yes, would love to read about your garden!

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Jun 12·edited Jun 12

Lindy I really love your movie reviews/experiences and I hear your publisher, but I'd love to just have more of those (if you want)! I'm thrilled about your new book and congrats - I really look forward to buying + reading it! But for your q -- can we just have a little more movie content? I lol so much reading them and love rereading the paragraphs that are so funny. Plus it feels like you work into your review some autobiographical content and thoughts of a range of topics. Also I love movies, so a little biased, but I'd rather get your reactions/impressions because it's super original (vs the scores of newsletters recommending products) and it feels like a continuation of Shit, Actually, and I'd rate enjoyment of that book as 12/10 DVDs of The Fugitive.

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Thank you for this! It's very validating! The movie stuff is the ABSOLUTE MOST FUN for me to write, and now that the book is getting close to done and the podcast production is a little bit more on auto-pilot, my goal is to start putting out a new movie review Butt News every couple of weeks! Stay tuned, and thanks for loving this goofy shit I do! <3

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This isn’t a question, butt in your last book you wrote about tipping over a picnic table while eating a personal pan pizza in the press area of a music festival and I have never felt more seen.

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LOL I SEE U 4 SURE <3

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Why are you so funny? Did you grow up with funny parents? Genuinely, you are SO funny and smart and pretty and one of my favorite writers/thinkers. I love reading about peepeepoopoo, and am also looking forward to the lifestyle content to come! Maybe you can tell us about a Day in the Life of a Female Woodsman. Also I think I speak for all when I say that more Barry content is always welcome.

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My parents are both really funny! My dad was silly and droll, and my mom is cutting and sarcastic.

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