1 Eff- Gandalf- What a night! fireworks, pipe-weed, Shadowfax bareback.
2 Marry- Samwise Gamgee - he will make sure I get breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and, later in the evening, supper.
3 Kill - Pippin- don’t touch the palantír.
4 Hurt Their Feelings- Gimli- ego so fragile, it’s almost too easy!
5 Freaky Friday Mind Swap- Legolas, seems fun to be an elf, and if we want to switch back we can both pee in the same fountain (Change Up reference, why?)
6 Do Karaoke with and Which Song Aragorn- I’ve Had The Time Of My Life.. so awkward!
7 You Kill a Spider and Then Have to Listen to Them Condescendingly Explain that Spiders Are Good, Actually, Because They Eat Bugs- Frodo… after Shelob.
8 Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes- Merry would my pubes then go on to a role in the ensemble of Lost?… bonus!
9 Hire as Your Manservant as Punishment for Your Favorite Son’s Death- Boromir- a twist
The way “Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien” has completely taken over every thought in my head is utterly criminal. But also FMK: F Boromir and Faramir (I can take them both (not in a fight)), M Aragorn even tho he’s insufferable at times, and K FRODO for the reasons Lindy listed.
Not only do the suits need to wake up on this, I think Tolkien’s estate owes you some doll hairs for elevating LOTR to this cultural level, I can no longer ignore it and I have a LOT of homework to do
Will listen tomorrow because I need to go to bed, but just reading the phrase "Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes" had me cackling out loud for a full minute, so thank you for that delightfully horrifying idea.
1 Eff - Legolas because I feel like it would be REALLY fun to see how elves handle the morning after akwardness. Would he call again?
2 Marry - Sam. Crazy take but I feel like his wife should have known from his face that he lost his BFF to the Undying Lands. I would see it.
3 Kill - Pippin. I just got re-mad about him being unable to leave the fucking palantír alone.
4 Hurt Their Feelings - Aragorn. Sorry but I need this man to feel something besides glowering. How does he straight up NOT REACT when Elrond tells him the love of his life is dead?
5 Freaky Friday Mind Swap - Gandalf for sure
6 Do Karaoke with and Which Song - Gimli, and it's gonna be Hold my Hand by Hootie or really any Hootie song.
7 YKSTHLTCESAGABTEB - Frodo because at least he would keep it brief because he has to pass out soon.
8 Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes - Merry will have to do.
9 Hire as Your Manservant as Punishment for Your Favorite Son’s Death - Boromir bc I feel like he could double as a bodyguard?
I have listened to the podcast episode twice and then forced my husband to listen, and he sent me his list! I'm still working on mine, the pubes question has me stumped. Mostly because I laugh at every single one I think of.
1 Eff - Boromir. I don't care about the corruption. That dude can get it.
2 Marry - Shelob. She'll take care of me. Forever.
3 Kill - Aragorn. Too goodly, too annoying. In the way. Plus, I think it would really bother him to get killed in this way.
4 Hurt Their Feelings - Balrog. I think they'd be cute while sulking, but I'd immediately make it up to them with extra fire candy.
5 Freaky Friday Mind Swap - Merry, so I can have some fun with Pippin, and then peace out beore they get annoying.
6 Do Karaoke with and Which Song - Gandalf, Suddenly Seymour, obviously.
7 You Kill a Spider and Then Have to Listen to Them Condescendingly Explain that Spiders Are Good, Actually, Because They Eat Bugs - Legolas
8 Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes - Gollum, hehehhehe
9 Hire as Your Manservant as Punishment for Your Favorite Son’s Death - This is all Lurtz baby
1 Eff- Gandalf- What a night! fireworks, pipe-weed, Shadowfax bareback.
2 Marry- Samwise Gamgee - he will make sure I get breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and, later in the evening, supper.
3 Kill - Pippin- don’t touch the palantír.
4 Hurt Their Feelings- Gimli- ego so fragile, it’s almost too easy!
5 Freaky Friday Mind Swap- Legolas, seems fun to be an elf, and if we want to switch back we can both pee in the same fountain (Change Up reference, why?)
6 Do Karaoke with and Which Song Aragorn- I’ve Had The Time Of My Life.. so awkward!
7 You Kill a Spider and Then Have to Listen to Them Condescendingly Explain that Spiders Are Good, Actually, Because They Eat Bugs- Frodo… after Shelob.
8 Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes- Merry would my pubes then go on to a role in the ensemble of Lost?… bonus!
9 Hire as Your Manservant as Punishment for Your Favorite Son’s Death- Boromir- a twist
I listened to the credits and very much enjoyed the Tolkien-ification of all the names! 🤣🧝🧙♂️🧌😜
The way “Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien” has completely taken over every thought in my head is utterly criminal. But also FMK: F Boromir and Faramir (I can take them both (not in a fight)), M Aragorn even tho he’s insufferable at times, and K FRODO for the reasons Lindy listed.
Frightened and horny Simpsons meme is how I feel about Lurtz
Not only do the suits need to wake up on this, I think Tolkien’s estate owes you some doll hairs for elevating LOTR to this cultural level, I can no longer ignore it and I have a LOT of homework to do
Will listen tomorrow because I need to go to bed, but just reading the phrase "Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes" had me cackling out loud for a full minute, so thank you for that delightfully horrifying idea.
How is this the first I'm hearing of you having a podcast with my very own local KUOW? Subscribed, catching up, glad you mentioned it!
1 Eff - Legolas
2 Marry - Sam
3 Kill - Denethor
4 Hurt Their Feelings - Lobelia
5 Freaky Friday Mind Swap - Balrog
6 Do Karaoke with and Which Song – Lurtz ‘Teenage dirtbag’
7 You Kill a Spider and Then Have to Listen to Them Condescendingly Explain that Spiders Are Good, Actually, Because They Eat Bugs - Shelob
8 Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes - Gollum
9 Hire as Your Manservant as Punishment for Your Favorite Son’s Death – Witch King
1 Eff - Legolas because I feel like it would be REALLY fun to see how elves handle the morning after akwardness. Would he call again?
2 Marry - Sam. Crazy take but I feel like his wife should have known from his face that he lost his BFF to the Undying Lands. I would see it.
3 Kill - Pippin. I just got re-mad about him being unable to leave the fucking palantír alone.
4 Hurt Their Feelings - Aragorn. Sorry but I need this man to feel something besides glowering. How does he straight up NOT REACT when Elrond tells him the love of his life is dead?
5 Freaky Friday Mind Swap - Gandalf for sure
6 Do Karaoke with and Which Song - Gimli, and it's gonna be Hold my Hand by Hootie or really any Hootie song.
7 YKSTHLTCESAGABTEB - Frodo because at least he would keep it brief because he has to pass out soon.
8 Their Hair Becomes Your Pubes - Merry will have to do.
9 Hire as Your Manservant as Punishment for Your Favorite Son’s Death - Boromir bc I feel like he could double as a bodyguard?
I have listened to the podcast episode twice and then forced my husband to listen, and he sent me his list! I'm still working on mine, the pubes question has me stumped. Mostly because I laugh at every single one I think of.